Lesson #3 – Cleaning Out ie “Good Lord…what is this?”



(This isn’t the Letterman show so not necessarily in any special order)

1. DO NOT keep clothes to wear if a. you gain weight, b. you lose weight,
c. for the ‘in between’ stage, and d. there is an important occasion in your future when you MAY wear that outfit.

2. DO NOT keep your children’s preschool and elementary school papers in the attic. They will NOT want them when they are 27 and 30. That attic rat may love them also.

3. Likewise, DO NOT keep your children’s artwork 29 years. They DEFINITELY will NOT want it.

4. Clean out under the sink at least yearly and NOT every 22 years. If you don’t you may be able to open a cleaning supply house.

5. DO NOT keep paint cans to touch up those rooms. They will just dry out anyway waiting to be used.

6. NO kitchen needs five frying pans, a wok, two juicers (when you go on that juice diet), three sets of flatware, four graters, 20 dishtowels (most stained), four cutting boards, five sets of dishes, and 40 mismatched juice glasses. JUST keep beer glasses and wine glasses because they WILL be used A LOT during this process.

7. DO NOT keep your set of 300 vinyls and 100 45s. YOU will NEVER NEVER listen to them again nor will you record them onto CDs. It would take the rest of your life to do it and who has time??

8. DO NOT start a collection of Monopoly games when your travel to faraway places. You will NEVER play them nor will you ever frame every one. Idea is good but don’t bother because they take up a heck of a lot of space in that linen closet. Collect spoons instead.

9. NOW this is ‘iffy’……I say DO NOT save your husband’s Tshirts he received when he ran all those marathons, triathlons and 10 Ks. BUT Goodwill them when he is NOT looking. Better yet, trash them. Two hips later … he will still hold on to them. Tread softly.

10. Lastly, keep those tools in the garage and organized for your whole life. If you don’t, you will find you have five hammers, four levels, three sets of wrenches….you get the idea. If you can’t find it…..DON’T go out and buy another. JUST keep looking. Mothers should teach this.

Deep in Muck,


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