Monthly Archives: November 2016

LESSON #42 – UNTRUTHS AS TOLD BY PARENTAL UNITS

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Growing up, we members of the Senior Class, were told untruths, somewhat untruths, or maybe just what we hated to hear, from our parents.  Let’s review for the test on Friday.

  1. Don’t sit too closely to the TV.  You’ll go blind!
  2. No play guns in this house!  Violent!  Play nice.
  3. No snacks in between meals.  You won’t eat any of your dinner!
  4. No, you have to wait 45 minutes before swimming or you will die from a cramp!
  5. Go outside and play!  The fresh air will do you good.
  6. Eat your vegetables so you can be strong!
  7. Get your homework done before dinner.  You will enjoy it more!
  8. Just eat a bite.  You may like it!
  9. Don’t cross your eyes!  They will get stuck.
  10. Put on clean underwear in case you are in an accident!
  11. Odell Hair Trainer will make your hair look good.
  12. Drink all your milk so you (again) can be strong.
  13. Captain Kangaroo is a REAL Captain.
  14. You were named after Pinky Lee!
  15. No Dessert until you have finished your dinner.  It’s healthier.
  16. Be home when the streetlights come on so you are safe.
  17. Don’t pop it!  It will leave a huge scar.
  18. If you eat enough vegetables, they will taste like candy.
  19. Be nice to your Sister or she will grow up and be really mean to you!
  20. Don’t lie or I will know!
  21. Get under your desk at school.  You will be safe.
  22. You may look like Annette Funicello when you grow up
  23. If you pee in the pool, it will turn a bright red, and we will KNOW.
  24. Eat all your carrots so you will have good eyesight.
  25. Don’t swallow your gum!  It will stay inside your stomach for 7 years.
  26. Coffee will stunt your growth.
  27. Spot went to live on a large farm and he is very happy!
  28. Pick up a frog and you will get warts.
  29. Reading in the dark will make you go blind.
  30. Spam is healthy.  It has meat in it.
  31. Go out and get some sun.  You look so pale.
  32. Sunshine will make you feel healthy!
  33.  If you start shaving your legs now the hair will come back thicker!

                              AND THE TOP TWO GREAT MYTHS OF OUR GENERATION ARE:

(Drum roll please) 

   34.  Son, you keep doing THAT, you will definitely go BLIND! and

   35.  Girls DO NOT do that.  It is unladylike……or that or that!!

HAVE A GREAT DAY!

Leigh

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