Author Archives: Leigh Porter Cutrone

LESSON # 70 – LOOK INTO MY EYES

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I think I was always tired and the children kept me very busy.  I was considered an ‘older’ Mom.  I was almost 37 when my son was born.  Not old according to today’s standards!  A couple of years flew by as they do and suddenly my son was two and my daughter, four.

This was a precious moment.  I remember this because as young as he was, my son needed one on one attention from his Mother and I was wrapped up in everything else.  Not odd for a young Mother with young children.  My thoughts then are very much the same now when I think of that moment.

My son crawled onto my lap and put his little hands on my face and turned my face toward his own.  He stared at my eyes and we looked at each other for what seemed minutes.  We looked into each other’s eyes and very souls.  It was a moment I will never forget.

I stopped what I was doing and looked at this little child of mine and felt all the hopes and dreams every mother feels.  That moment, too, I felt guilty that my young child would feel that he needed attention and he had to show me!  He was beyond his years with the ability to say without words what he needed… to look into my eyes and see my love for him.  That particular day, sad to say, I had forgotten the most important job I had.

Today as a “Nana” I often think of that second in time so long ago.  Being part of the Senior Class, we now have much more time to give to our Grandchildren.  In my case, they are quite young.  I find myself looking into their eyes as I hold them close while telling them I love them.  Part of my ritual is to give each Grand a ‘million’ kisses and a big big hug when I see them.  I often hope each one will remember our special ritual because it is very special to me.

My Grandsons will grow up fast and feel awkward with my kisses and I fear that may be happening sooner than I want to realize.  Girls are easier.  They giggle when receiving their Nana’s love and kisses.

How often do we really look into each other’s eyes and see the love and the feelings we have for each other?  Eyes do certainly give a glimpse into the souls of those we love.  A loving light will shine there. We might see love but also, perhaps,  all the rest of our human emotions.  When you see love shining back from someone’s eyes, that is the most precious to always remember.

Our Grands will grow up just as fast as our children.  I am careful.  I stop what I may be doing and look into their eyes and make sure they know and feel my love.  It’s important to me.

My memory of my son on that day will never fade.  My memory of those I love looking into my eyes with love will never fade.  This may be what it’s all about!  Maybe.

Leigh

                                 “Nothing can dim the light that shines from within”

                                                                                                                              Maya Angelou

 

 

 

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LESSON #69 – HAPPY PASSOVER!

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This year Good Friday has a different feel than last.

Easter has come a bit too fast for my liking and my mind has been on everything else except where the focus should be!

Easter is a time for celebration and our thoughts should be turning to Jesus who, after all, is what this weekend is all about!

This year, however, Passover and Good Friday is TODAY.  I have always believed we should celebrate Passover along with our Jewish brethren but we seldom hear about this most important Jewish holiday.  Sad, really, many Christian churches can’t celebrate this part of our Christianity as it coincides with Judaism.

“Good” is connected with Friday because Jesus died for all our sins…which is Good.  Sunday, Easter, HE rose from the dead and we praise HIM with thankfulness.

Today, we recognize Passover.  It is a festival to freedom; the Israelites’ Exodus from Egypt.  Liberation by God of those led out of Egypt by Moses.

Passover begins today and ends on April 27.

So, for this weekend I will praise HIM and try to forget everything else happening in my life.  I will put aside any worries and put my trust in the Lord.  Gather around the table whether it be on Easter Sunday or for your Seder meal and give thanks!

HAPPY EASTER AND HAPPY PASSOVER.

Leigh

 

 

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LESSON # 68 – SPRING: THE SEASON OF RENEWAL

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It is Spring in Georgia.  This time I’m sure of it.

The trees surrounding our house are opening their new delicate light green leaves ever so slightly.  The daffodils are bending low and seem quite tired.  Our Japanese Maples are showing off their new red cloaks.

Birds are chirping their hellos, “I’m back!”, with friendly but worldly sounds. We have seen our very first Hummingbird of the season!  The feeder is hanging ready to attract any more newcomers.

It has been a very long winter in so many ways.  The weather has been abysmal.  So much rain, no snow, no ice storms and just grey sad days.  Everyone has said so and so it must be true. Generally, I love grey days when nothing has to be accomplished but this year it was the norm.  Glad to see them go.

Spring is a new beginning to be sure.   A new baby has joined our family.  Love gained for others and, perhaps, love lost.  I can’t help thinking that this year will be a new beginning.  I’m counting on it.  My ‘to do’ list is long so I tell myself to STOP OVERTHINKING and get on with life wherever it takes me and whatever it throws my way.

Spring fever!  A relationship expert, April Masini, writes that “spring is still for humans what it is for animals: a time to get out there and meet potential mates.”  Interesting.  You singles?!  Do you hear? No matter what your age, love may be near.  It is fleeting so don’t take it for granted.  Treat it with respect.  It is a gift.

So many of us have been housebound for months and now we want to go out into the warmer air. Walk the beach, the Boardwalk or the Park with our face towards the sun.  Feel the warmth and the love surrounding us.

Our questions and disappointments from yesterday and our fears of tomorrow must be put aside while we enjoy what is happening right before us. It is not always clear. But…

“Don’t wait for someone to bring you flowers.

    Plant your own garden and decorate your own soul”

                                                                                                  Luther Burbank.

HAPPY SPRING READERS!

Leigh

 

 

 

 

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LESSON #67 – FEEL THE BURN!

th-1.jpegThe other day I was at my gym (NO, this is not the beginning of a joke)…

I began thinking about how my gyms and memberships had changed so drastically over these coming of age years.  So drastically that I really had to laugh at the whole gym thing.

In Woodstock, we have quite a few very nice and ‘expensivey’ gyms close by the house.  We have LA Fitness, Lifetime Fitness, Golds Gym, One Life Fitness, 24/7 gym, and many other smaller storefront gyms. I could really walk to a few BUT who wants to walk and get exercise when I can join a gym and pay good money to get exercise?

I have had lots of gym memberships over the years beginning at 40 when we lived in Phoenix. I loved it.  The gym was new and it had childcare!  Praise the Lord!  I could go exercise and my children were happy!  All was right with the world.  I was happy.  They were happy.  We always had a McDonalds run afterward.  Really doesn’t get much better than that.

That was the year I thought my body would start falling apart!  WHAT?  Was I kidding??  At 40 your body starts to fall apart??  What a joke.  Can you say NOT!  Anyway, I loved the gym and I loved working out at 40.  Thinking about that workout now, I am getting very tired.  I think I need a nap.

When we moved from Arizona to Marietta, Georgia I joined another gym.  A few years had gone by.  MANY years had actually gone by.  Somehow my energy level had wained a bit.  I wasn’t that much older (or was I?) so what was going on?  The exercise was more difficult and I didn’t enjoy it much.  I needed a diversion.

For the next years, I was in and out of gym memberships.  I would join and maybe go once a week and then the weeks mounted between visits!  I wasn’t feeling it at all.  After paying for a gym month after month I yelled…”Enough!”  I hate this.  The thrill was gone.  Too many people were so serious about weight lifting and running on treadmills.  I started noticing that the majority of the members were actually younger than me.  OMG.  Was I getting ‘older’?  Say it ain’t so…

There was a tennis period when I lived and breathed only tennis.  People, never mess with tennis in the Atlanta area.  ALTA is serious business.  Tennis was like a gym membership.  I may even get back on the court IF my knees are up to it?  Who am I kidding???

We are now in the here and now.  My husband actually signed me up for a membership at a…wait for it…a GYM.  All through the holidays as I was enjoying all those holiday goodies, as well as lots of vino, I knew a gym would, once again, be in my future.  All I can say is “Damn” (again).

Planet Fitness.   It is very much like going to an Early Bird Special for Senior citizens minus the food of course.  Their motto is “The Judgement Free Zone”.  I think I have found a home.  ‘Young people’ at the front desk make you feel welcome, warm and cozy even. There are 30-minute circuit rooms including an intense one that is for anybody but me.  A trainer 24/7 but I have yet to actually see him.

As gym memberships come and go through the years, for this one Senior Classer,  I realize that my main goal now…is to just keep this body moving at all costs.  Very simple really.  Just keep moving it!  OMG, the pain.

Cheers!

Leigh

 

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LESSON #66 – THE JOY OF CONNECTING

t_500x300.jpgThere are many pitfalls being on Facebook.  I have been quite verbal about how addictive it can be and how it takes away from well…talking (out loud)!

However, there is another side of Facebook which I am sure you, too, have discovered.  It seems as if when I consider obliterating my FB account I always find new ‘old’ friends! Point being is that I LOVE two Facebook sites (which were recommended to me) and I find myself cruising them more than I would like to admit.

One site is geared toward remembering South Jersey (where I completed HS etc etc) and the other site is geared toward “my” Long Beach Island (LBI) where I lived for many years full-time and part-time.

What is great about this and absolutely amazing to me is how we can reunite with those we have not talked to, chatted with, caught up with, conversed with or passed the time of day with and, yes, not written to (does anyone write letters anymore?), or even, perhaps, thought about for decades and decades!  Quite the run-on sentence! Can you say 50 years?  Oh my!

The other day,  I was browsing through the LBI FB site and found a comment from someone whose name was very familiar!  Lightbulbs!  It was actually my stepbrother with whom I had lost all contact many years ago when my Father passed away.  Shocked but nicely surprised is an understatement.  One is never completely sure if the person you think they are is actually that person!  YES!!  Jackpot!  It was him and I am glad we caught up since his Mother was, after all, my Stepmother for many years.  Now we are  ‘friends’ on FB and I’m very happy about that.

I also received a Message from my stepsister!  Yay!  The circle is complete and I am thrilled to be back in touch with her as well.  ‘Friends’ on FB.  Score! Happy days for sure.

An old friend and neighbor from LBI contacted me after seeing one of my posts.  I haven’t spoken to her for years.  In fact, haven’t seen her since the mid-’70s.  Love that because she was part of my happy memories of LBI.  Score again!

There is a FB site just for those of us who graduated from our High School in 1967.  I treasure it because it has put me back in touch with friends from ‘back in the day’.  I love to see who is doing what, who is traveling where and where people live and to know the paths they have taken in their own lives.  We are involved with each other once again albeit from afar on FB.

Getting back in touch with people can sure conjure up beautiful memories that we have had tucked away in storage.  How fun is it to share memories with past friends only to have the memories come alive again? I am certainly not suggesting to live in the past but…

Those memories become more precious in our lives.  Friends help us remember.

If I am completely honest, some days I feel young and on other days I feel quite old reminiscing.   OUCH!   But I take the young and that damn old.   Embrace them, I have recently learned, and happiness surrounds us as we look back and remember.  We really don’t have a choice.

Thank you dear friends.

Cheers!!

Leigh

 

 

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